More fun to just do it yourself

-FIN-

2007-02-10T23:25:00.000+08:00

This blog has been discontinued. Please find more frequent (ish) updates on my life at this fine location .

Not that anyone ever reads my blogs anyway. Heh.

Yay!

2006-11-06T00:57:00.000+08:00

The new financial year was a time to celebrate - I got promoted to Consultant in September and turned 25 in October.

Pheh. I'm out of breath now. Time for my afternoon nap.

how'd he do that?

Enjoy the photos. The next few posts should be a bit more interesting (jungles and rivers and walls, oh my!)

Back to blogging

2005-09-07T21:19:00.000+08:00

I can't believe my last post was in May. I've done so much crap since then. A brief recap of the last 5 months:

May 2005

I spent 2 weeks in May at ACN's Core Analyst School (CAS). It was the best fun I've had since leaving King's.

Highlights include hanging out with Alex and Jeremy - kinda like 2 Jon Socrates, but with less hair. We had a fucking awesome time;

lots of great analysts from all over the place;

meeting Woolf from Shanghai (C'mon no problem! Wahaha proje very popul. I am wet);

and last but not certainly least, the one and only Jungle Lady from Singapore.

Oh, I also saw some random dude's balls.

CAS pretty much took it out of me for the rest of May. Good thing June came along. I needed a break from all that tiring fun!

June 2005

My dad decided to take the entire family on a trip to Maldives. I sure didn't wanna miss out on a family holiday again. So I asked for a week off from work, surprisingly was allowed to go (they were all replacement days off) and ended up spending 5 days under the cloudy skies of Laguna Beach Resort, Maldives and finding out the hard way that SMS messages cost RM 3.28 each from the tropical paradise.

The Maldives trip might not have been a fantastic idea in hindsight. I was behind on work for a long time after that, especially with the Russian stuff I was (still am) working on. But whatever. The end of June came along and I went to the beach again, for ACN's BUM. I didnt expect much from a weekend spent with 300 people from the office, but it turned out to be a pretty memorable couple of days.

I mooned, gave a speech and got water balloon gang-banged all in the space of 1 morning. Good times....

BUM also saw the return of the jungle dance, which had not been performed since CAS.

July/August 2005

July was an ass of a month. Lots of late nights working on the Russian reports, sorting out personal issues and ultimately waiting around for the month to end coz I'd booked a trip to go learn to surf in Bali.

Surfing's awesome. I wish I'd done it much sooner, like when I was 10 or something. Kiki, the Dutch girl in the photo above was 11.

1 thing's for sure though - I'll never underestimate the rip again. My shoulders were sore for almost 2 weeks after my failed attempt at fighting the current.

The rest of August was spent catching up with work. I definitely lost lots of momentum after the Bali trip. My Russian counterpart came to Cybertron for a visit and I was rather disappointed. (But I'm sure she was even more disappointed to find out that her reports werent working yet)

September 2005

Highlight so far has been finding out just how badly I got assraped in banding. I'm not happy with the rating they gave me but whatever. I'll kick butt from now til next May and they wont have any reason not to give me the rating I deserve.

It'll be anniversary time in a couple of weeks. Someone will find out just how crap I am at buying gifts.

More Russians are here. It is a golden week in DSO.

It's almost 11pm and I need to get my car. Haven't eaten dinner yet though.

I can't believe it's taken me almost 2 hours to finish this post.

Oh the things I've seen!

2005-05-01T02:22:00.000+08:00

Kinky!

Okay, so I was in a golf club a couple of weeks ago, getting some stuff together for an upcoming work event when I saw this gem of a sign. Unfortunately the shop was closed, but I imagine they must've had a wide range of waterproof and/or easy to wipe items.

The thing between the words "Golden" and "Showers" kinda looks like an asshole that's just expelled a huge poo. I'm using my imagination here.

I am a sick fuck.

Pimpin aint easy

2005-05-01T02:21:00.000+08:00

29" tv in the back of my car

When the mood strikes, I'll sit in front of the tv and watch this guy called Xzibit take a beat up car and have it fixed up into the most unpractical vehicle you could ever hope to own. Especially when you look at the neighbourhoods the car owners live in.

But today, I succumbed to temptation and pimped my ride. I now have a 29" tv in the back of my Kelisa. No puny 14" LCD screens will do for me. When I decide to spend some money, I go all out.

Who needs MTV when you can have TNT (Electronic Sdn Bhd, Sentul)?

The cracker is one step closer to crumbling

2005-04-24T16:47:00.000+08:00

Today marks the 24th anniversary of the birth of my hot ass girlfriend and newly-recruited contributor to this blog that no one should be reading and yet my counter keeps doing the n+1 thing.

We had a bit of a party last night. Much fun was had. Oh, and before that we went out for dinner then met her friends for some food and ice lemon tea.

In an awesome turn of events, I somehow managed to be a good boyfriend and not screw anything up. Today I intend to stretch this streak of awesomeness even further by bringing over a chocolate surprise to her house.

Oooh chocolate surprise. I need to write that down.

I expect jumping, and perhaps some secretion of bodily fluids.

Happy birthday!!

i've hidden my eyeballs somewhere

2005-04-24T16:46:00.000+08:00

hope! dream!

2005-04-24T16:45:00.000+08:00

everyone was there

Near-miss

2005-04-18T16:43:00.000+08:00

Phew! Good thing I didn't just give her my password so she could post. Secrets? Bah! I have no secrets. My life is an open book.

My favourite colour is blue and I love the smell of freshly cut rain on a grassy spring morning.

Disclaimer: any information divulged by persons other than Professor "Hermaphrodite" H.G. Weed or his associate/superhero heterosexual male life partner Dr. "Jingleballs" Jonathan A. Hercules Socrates and/or their legitimate offspring should be considered false, unless confirmed by the International Olympic Committee.

Hahaha check THIS out

2005-04-18T16:30:00.000+08:00

WOOOOOO I now have access to my boyfriend's blog!! Muahahahahaha! Who SAID this wasn't a good idea? Ooh the secrets I can spill to the people who shouldn't know them...

*Rub hands together* Now to take over the rest of the world, one blog at a time...

Friday Night Fever

2005-02-27T17:39:00.000+08:00

Loyal readers, it's been a while since I posted. Been busy doing stuff. Accenture's Annual Dinner & Dance was held a couple of days ago. I helped out with the entertainment. We performed a musical of sorts.

Yes, I sang. Apparently I was mesmerising. Obviously, some people must've had a little too much to drink.

Rahayu got hit on by a few people. They are missing a few teeth now. Okay, not really. But if they keep up with that sort of behaviour when I go back to the office tomorrow, they will be in for an ass kicking. These people shall remain annonymous, but I have one thing to say to them -

Go find your own hottie.

I went dressed as Prince but most people thought I was Austin Powers. Urgh. I did not have glasses or bad teeth. I was Prince. Or TAFKAP. Or the symbol. Whatever he calls himself now. I was not Austin Powers.

The musical went really well and I also won a 29" tv! I might sell it off and use the money to buy something I could actually use.

Like those 5.1 speakers and the iPod photo I've been eyeing for a while.

2005-02-27T17:37:00.001+08:00

Rahayu and Anil preparing on stage

2005-02-27T17:37:00.000+08:00

With Wesley, Sher Li and Yin Sern before the dinner

2005-02-27T17:36:00.000+08:00

Jaime had fucking cool hair

2005-02-27T17:35:00.000+08:00

Jes Min won best dressed female

2005-02-27T17:34:00.001+08:00

Diana, here's the photo you wanted

2005-02-27T17:34:00.000+08:00

Anil has more chest hair than I do

2005-02-27T17:33:00.000+08:00

Boris doesn't look very Russian in that dress

2005-02-27T17:32:00.000+08:00

Hung Siew with Rahayu (hey, that rhymes)

2005-02-27T17:31:00.000+08:00

Doris and Nadia

2005-02-27T17:30:00.000+08:00

With the girls - Doris, Hung Siew, Rahayu and Nadia

2005-02-27T17:29:00.000+08:00

With Rahayu, and no - that's not my real hair

2005-02-27T17:27:00.000+08:00

Yes it's true - I'm dating a hottie

Counter-counter

2004-12-12T01:18:00.000+08:00

Okay, so who the hell reads my blog? I realise that the counter is highly inaccurate - it goes up by one everytime you refresh the main page, but seriously...20-something hits in about a week?

Go read something more interesting!!

I kinda miss my alone time and I feel like spending the rest of the weekend on my own.

I hope my cave is still in good condition.

Uuuuaaaaaaaaaaaa........

2004-12-05T23:10:00.000+08:00

the grudge

A few nights ago, my X-Men comic book scared the crap out of me. I was reading in bed before I went to sleep and as I turned the page, the frickin hantu from The Grudge was staring right back at me.

I hate movie promos.

Strange things people do

2004-11-29T23:11:00.000+08:00

the john

On one of my forrays into the toilet at work today, I noticed that there was something on the otherwise (almost) unblemished porcelain surface of the toilet bowl. I thought it was a really long, winding pube. But after scientifically attempting to dislodge it (I peed on it, coz everyone knows H20+Ammonia+Minerals+kinetic energy = pube dislodger), I came to the realisation that it was in fact, a scribble.

Someone had scribbled on the inside of the toilet bowl.

It's right there. The squiggly thing just off the center of the picture.

What a weirdo. Of all the things he could've done....of all the places he could've scribbled. He scribbled inside the loo. I hope he threw his pen away after that.

And of course, being the fucking weirdo that I am, I just had to take a picture of the scribble to share with my faithful readers.

So there you have it folks. 2 tales of the weird for the price of 1 blog post.

Snake Eater (heh)

2004-11-21T23:49:00.000+08:00

snake

I haven't had coffee since Friday and now I have a pretty bad headache. I suppose the fact that I didn't sleep much this weekend doesn't help.

Anyway, Metal Gear Solid 3 is out and I failed pretty miserably when I tried to play it just now. I wasn't supposed to engage in combat with the enemy soldiers, but I got spotted and proceeded to go on a knifing rampage for about 20 minutes before I got tired of it and switched to NFS Underground 2, which was also kinda tiring.

But I'll get gaming out of my system this week before Zufar reclaims his PS2 for the next 3 weeks. I hope to have mastered the gameplay within the week, so I can impress Rahayu with my sneaky Solid Snake techniques.

(pun fully intended)

Snap

2004-11-18T01:18:00.000+08:00

I bought a new phone last month... an early birthday present for myself. One of those unnecessarily hi-tech things... comes with everything including a microwave oven and a built-in foot massager.

Oh yes, it also comes with a crappy camera which I've decided to use to take random pictures to post on this blog. I hope to capture strange, perhaps interesting images, as I go through everyday life. (This one time I accidentally took a picture of the inside of my car's door handle. Too bad I've deleted it)

For starters though, here's a photo of some poor schmuck, and of someone's eye.

I have narrow shoulders

2004-11-18T00:15:00.000+08:00

the eye

Phew

2004-11-08T01:19:00.000+08:00

Here's an indication of how busy I've been lately... I haven't had much time to keep up with my webcomics, it took me a month to go to Comixtra to pick up my books, I haven't been to the gym in almost a month and a half and I look like I'm 3 months pregnant and the last time I posted anything on this blog was in September.

One of these days I will post something significant, but right now I need to go to bed.

7 more days to the end of Ramadhan.

7 more days to cutover.

7 more days to my first Raya at work.

All change

2004-09-25T16:36:00.000+08:00

My life is going really well. Something's wrong with this picture.

3 weeks ago I played futsal for Resources in Accenture's inter-Operating Group tournament. The futsal sucked and at the time I thought I'd wasted my morning.

The highlight of the day was the match against Products, where I quite literally bumped into Rahayu in my attempt to get the ball off of her. She'll never let me off for hesitating. But what was I to do? I didn't wanna hurt her. Not that I'm the biggest, strongest guy in town, but still.

We're going out now.

If you've known me for more than 2 days, you must be wondering

Someone actually agreed to go out with him??

I know....strange, but true.

I'm just gonna enjoy the ride before she realises she's picked up the wrong passenger.

I do enjoy being a self-deprecating bastard=)

Dinner's on me

2004-09-11T23:20:00.000+08:00

Had a steak for dinner and now I'm stuffed. Like a turkey at Thanksgiving. Or a pornstar doing DVDA (double vaginal, double anal. Don't ask me how that's possible)

Gimme an hour, I'll be hungry again. I must have a parasite colony living in my tummy.

I'm working tomorrow...it fuckin sucks to have to work on Saturday AND Sunday. But nevermind. I get to take 2 days off to make up for it. Penang, here I come. Komtar, prepare to be mocked.

It's September 11th. Do you know where your children are?

Arrr! A-hunting we will go

2004-08-22T22:14:00.000+08:00

I took part in a treasure hunt yesterday, organised by DSO(my current project)'s social committee. I wasn't too keen at first but it turned out to be a great event.

And best of all, my team won!

I teamed up with Aneesa, Cheryl and Chieng and we were just too good. Started off at Kelana Seafood, went to Uptown and were a bit slow but once we got to the next location in Subang, we just left the other teams in the dust. In the end, we managed to return to Uptown after completing our final task in Puchong, just to check on an answer.

One of the tasks required me to take a photo with an albino python. I was a little creeped out by the idea, but it turns out snakes aren't that bad. Kinda like having a plastic bag filled with water put on your shoulders. A plastic bag that will some day be big enough to crush you like an insignificant bug. I think I'll just stick to cats, thank you very much.

Was completely knackered when I eventually got home. Thank God I had time for a nap before I went out to get a wedding present for Azlan's sister, and on to the wedding proper. Hope she likes her Zen garden.

My friends decided that I should go out with one of the dulang girls. I'm sure they meant well, but I think it has more to do with Harimau Jag than anything else. I must admit though that Sarawak and Sabah are not fat nor ugly.

But in all honesty, I don't think I can afford to go on an out of state vacation just yet.

On-camera: albino python
Off-camera: trouser snake

2004-08-22T22:12:00.000+08:00

We won't quit our day jobs

2004-08-22T22:10:00.000+08:00

Team Leprechaun

Bang, Splat, Ouchhhh

2004-08-20T00:33:00.000+08:00

I paintballed at the Resources day 2 weeks ago. The bruise on my left arm went away yesterday. My bruised ego still hasn't recovered. My team lost 2 games in a row. And I thought all the BBBBGC training would come in handy.

Team "let's get our asses kicked"

2004-08-20T00:18:00.000+08:00

I have fake pecs and abs

If it ain't broke...

2004-08-13T00:09:00.000+08:00

The more things change, the more they stay the same. I wanted to change the look of this blog, but after trying out about 5 other templates, I came back to this one. It just looks and feels right.

Lots of changes have happened in my life, but in keeping with my strict "let's not reveal all" approach to this blog, that is all I will say.

Which probably makes you wonder, "why did he bring it up in the first place, if he's not gonna elaborate?"

Well, this would be a fucking short (and stupid) post if I didn't say something apart from "I changed the template, then changed it back", right?

The Sandman awaits.

Re:union

2004-07-30T21:58:00.000+08:00

Aneesa, Hung Siew and Doris

2004-07-30T21:57:00.000+08:00

Me and The Bill

Doris came back from Manila last weekend and we went out for dinner at Tsunami, the restaurant owned by my brother's hilarious-when-drunk friend.

The food was good and the company even better. It's a shame we only get to meet up every few weeks now. I miss the good old days - lunch at Central, window shopping around KLCC, group chats on MSN even though we all sat next to each other in the office.

Next weekend is Resources Day. It's a shame Bill and Hung Siew are in Products. Would've been cool to gang up in paintball. But like I said to Doris and Aneesa, they can take the flanks and I'll cover their rears.

Pussy!

2004-07-30T21:55:00.000+08:00

My cat Jada - sleeping, as always

2004-07-30T21:54:00.000+08:00

My new cat Bruce-Henry (yes, it's hyphenated)

My brother decided that it was high time for Jada to have a feline companion to run amok in the apartment with. Enter Bruce. At least that's what I call him. My brother named him Henry, as in the France/Arsenal striker. But he came up with the name a week after the cat entered our home, and our lives. I saw him the first time and the name Bruce (as in Lee) just popped up in my head.

He cried and cried on his first night. We knew it would be difficult for him to settle in. On his second day, he and Jada were at it like cats and, well, cats. Jada was scared of him though.

On the 3rd day however, those two were the best of buddies. I guess amidst all the meowing, they must've gotten their respective points across and agreed that it was in everyone's best interest for them to be best mates. I imagine it went something like this:

Jada: Meow
Bruce: Meowww, meow meow
Jada: Mmm, meow
Bruce: Mmmkay

So now they both stink up the place together, leave fur everywhere and fill my heart with a small measure of joy when I see them playfighting. I need to capture a classic playfight moment on camera. Is there some way I could post a video on this blog?

Where are you going?

2004-07-21T00:42:00.000+08:00

I don't know where my life is headed. And by life I mean life outside of work. I have a pretty good idea where my career is headed, I think. I say this in a semi-joking manner, but I wanna make partner in 10-12 years time. Is that possible? Maybe. I think I'm good enough to do it.

But my actual life, that's another matter altogether. It doesn't feel like I've got it all together anymore. I don't know if this is just another phase I'm going through. Maybe I've just been too busy with work and haven't had time to allow everything else to settle down. I can't even begin to imagine what the bill is going through. Poor guy.

I'm currently chatting with a friend of mine about this very blog. I was explaining to her how semi-personal this blog is. Her opinion on blogging is

If you know me, you know me

I think if a complete stranger were to run a Google search on hornygoatweed and inadvertently finds this hole in the web, he'd just think I'm odd. What with my thoughts on having a sitcom about my life, the weird smells in the toilet at the office, or helping my friend break into his own car. (I'd usually link to these posts, but tonight I just cant be arsed). But I think (read: hope) when my mates read the crap I post, they'll know where I'm coming from.

Like I said to my friend, it's like watching Spider-man 2. It's enjoyable on its own, but if you read the Spidey comics and know some back story, the movie will make more sense.

I think Verena's gonna tell me my blog's boring shite after she reads this post. I think it is too. Ughh. Maybe one day I'll come up with something more interesting.

Must go to sleep now. It's gonna be another long day in Cyberjaya. I came up with an analogy last week. You all know hot as hell. Now brace yourselves for cold as Shell.

As I ended that sentence, matchbox twenty's "So Sad So Lonely" ended on my Winamp with the words "That's lame, man. That's lame". What strangely perfect timing.

Tired

2004-07-14T22:05:00.000+08:00

I'm too tired to blog for the time being. Cyberjaya is far, far away and it is cold there.

I must sleep. It's tough being a test tube baby.

Delusional

2004-07-07T18:54:00.000+08:00

I'd been meaning to write about this for quite a while. I keep remembering when I'm taking a leak in the office toilet. I have some time to kill now...might as well get this post off my bladder.

Seinfeld was a great show...a show about nothing. It had a great cast of characters, quirky jokes and the continuity was unlike any other sitcom. I'll never forget Kramer's ocean fragrance.

What I'd been thinking about is...would my life make a good sitcom? A sitcom of Seinfeld-esque quality. I have quirky friends. Crazy things happen to me. I can be a bit eccentric sometimes. Would my nothing life make good tv?

Is this a silly idea? Has anyone else harboured similar thoughts?

Now who'd like to be the Kramer to my Jerry?

In other news, the toilet in the office is no longer my favourite place to hang out. It used to be so clean and fresh-smelling. Now it smells like something crawled up behind the walls, took a major dump, ate its own shit, puked and then died.

I also picked up my first anonymous fan today. Woohoo! My other blog had some trouble with an anonymous entity so I hope this anonymous isn't the same anonymous.

I realise that the commentor might just be one of the few people who reads this blog and either a)doesn't have a blogger account or b) couldn't be bothered to log on just to comment. In either case, might I suggest that you leave a name or other identification at the end of your comment, just so I know who to credit when I publish my memoirs sometime in the future =)

I'm hungry. What else is new? I think it's time for another pantry raid.

I am Confucious

2004-07-05T01:28:00.001+08:00

Suhana keeps saying Superman 2 when what she really means is Spider-man 2. Weirdo. =)

Note: It's Spider-man and not Spiderman. The non-hyphenated version is property of DC Comics. Bet you didn't know that!

(Yes, I know. It's not something to be proud of)

Bugger

2004-07-05T00:55:00.000+08:00

In a worrying turn of events, I'm starting to enjoy work and I'm finding life outside the office kinda pointless and unfulfilling.

I found out on Friday that I might be sent to the Phillipines to work, sometime in August. I'm still not sure if I'm excited or saddened by the prospect. It'll be a great opportunity for sure, and I knew all along that I'd be sent places when I started this job.

On the other hand, I don't know how long I'll be stuck in Manila and if I'll enjoy myself there. Thank God I'll be there with people I already know. But what of the people I'll leave behind?

I told my parents I might have to go and I think my mom's waiting for me to fly her over. When I told Tash...she didn't really react. I think (read: hope) she'll miss me but I have a feeling it won't really matter too much. We met up today for the first time in a week and as usual, we just annoyed each other.

Maybe the whole thing's pointless. Maybe we're the worst best friends ever.

Dobry Den from Eastern Europe

2004-06-28T04:57:00.000+08:00

Prague - The old town square. Home to the friendliest, most articulate bums in all of Europe

In conjunction with the Czech Republic's storming win over Denmark in the last quarter final of Euro 2004, here are some photos I took in Prague last year.

It's a great city, cheap as chips and absolutely gorgeous. Too bad I had a tummy ache for the 3 days that I was there.

Time to sleep now. SAP training awaits on the morrow.

-De^kuji vám mnohokrát Mr. Baros-

2004-06-28T04:55:00.000+08:00

The Czech forward line - Koller, Baros and Nedved (partially hidden)

2004-06-28T04:53:00.000+08:00

Czech blacksmith making those lethal boots for Baros

Riding on the back of a big green cat

2004-06-24T00:05:00.000+08:00

The day you stop learning is the day you die. I'm still very much alive (thank God for that) and I've learned a lot of things this past week.

Lesson no. 1 - Look both ways before coming out of a busy intersection
Failing to do so will probably result in you getting hit by another car, not having your car for a few days and eventually coming home to a friggin' huge bill that ruins all your plans for the upcoming months.

Lesson no. 2 - Working hard isn't as bad as it sounds
As mentioned in my previous post, I've been staying in the office way longer than usual. Financial analysis is turning out to be a great thing to learn and I haven't found any cause for complaint with regards to ABAP. I'm looking forward to seeing my efforts come to fruition in the (hopefully) near future.

Lesson no.3 - Sleep is good
'Nuff said.

Lesson no.4 - Some things just can't be helped
Tash went away for a long weekend and even with her away we bickered. I don't know what's up with all the arguing. We just can't help ourselves. But she's back now and I went to see her for a few minutes after picking up my car. It was good to see her and to speak to her and that was that. I still don't get why we have to argue all the time.

Lesson no. 5 - Prince Adam of Eternia is a wuss
But He-Man's cool. I watched about 10 minutes of the new He-Man cartoon in Parkson today while waiting for Aneesa to pay for something. It's not as good as it used to be, but perhaps nostalgia has a knack for distorting opinions.

And now I must proceed to Dreamland where I hope to re-acquaint myself with He-Man, Man-at-Arms, Orko, Skeletor, and most importantly, the Sorceress. Grrr!

-By the power of Grayskull-

Workaholics Anonymous

2004-06-23T00:31:00.000+08:00

If you surf the Interweb using Internet Explorer, you've probably noticed something pretty cool. No no, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you. HTML is a great thing.

So anyway, it's almost time for bed and yet I am blogging. What can I say...inspiration strikes whenever it feels like it. Not that I've anything interesting to write. I just wanted to point out the cool new feature I have on my blog - page fading.

I've been working pretty hard (by my standards) lately. I've not left the office earlier than 8pm since last Thursday. ABAPing is fun and Cement Research has turned into a full-on Shareholder Value Analysis. It's not that bad though. I know someone who's just left the office. It's almost 1am.

Now I'm knackered. Gotta get some rest now. I wonder if Jada will join me in bed tonight.

-YAWN-

Up the creek without a paddle

2004-06-21T00:21:00.000+08:00

Hanging on for dear life on the back of a lorry. Check out my scabby knees

The big fun weekend I mentioned in my previous post involved going to Perak with the Recreation Club from work to do a spot of caving followed by white water rafting.

I almost didn't make it for the trip. I got into a bit of a car accident on Friday night and had to sort all that shit out. No one was hurt and the cars only suffered some cosmetic damage (I think).

By the way, the accident was my fault.

I was absolutely gutted coz I thought my weekend getaway was ruined. Thank goodness a couple of people left late on Saturday morning and I managed to hitch a ride.

We missed the caving but nevermind. The rafting was pretty cool. Perhaps not as exciting as my previous rafting experience in Sabah, or as much of a rush as the kayaking I did when Paul was around in January. It was a good day nonetheless. I even came up with a game to play on the back of a lorry hurtling down kampung roads.

If you'd noticed my scabby knees in the picture, those were caused when I fell and slid on the astroturf pitch at the futsal tournament last weekend. They hadn't really recovered but I thought they'd hold up.

They kinda did, but the scabs came off after a few knocks against various raft bits and at one point a paddle went digging into my left knee. I think I've lost a small chunk.

I reckon it'll take another week before my knees fully recover.

-Ouch-

2004-06-21T00:20:00.000+08:00

The group before we got kitted up

2004-06-21T00:19:00.000+08:00

Rescuing Chee Hon

2004-06-21T00:18:00.000+08:00

My big fat blue raft

2004-06-21T00:17:00.000+08:00

Our guides

2004-06-21T00:15:00.000+08:00

Group photo at the end (me with my 2.5th pau for the day)

3 lions on a shirt

2004-06-18T02:14:00.000+08:00

Come on!

Just so all my readers know who I'm rooting for. We've just beaten the Swiss. Neutral wankers. I fell asleep watching the match. Work really wiped me out. Was in the office til about 9pm today. Shite.

I've been on SAP training. I wish they'd let us stand on wooden blocks by the beach at sunset just like the Karate Kid. Unfortunately, SAP's not that fun and I dont wax on, wax off... or even catch flies with chopsticks.

I've got a fun-filled weekend to look forward to and I hope to be able to share it with everyone once I get back. Caves and rivers and rafts, oh my!

"Come on England, yeah yeah yeah!" - Twisted X, Born in England

Delayed

2004-06-10T23:46:00.001+08:00

Everyone

2004-06-10T23:46:00.000+08:00

Ying Shyuan

Okay, so this dinner took place weeks ago but there've been requests for the photos to be put up so here they are. I took 3 photos that night and there are only 2 here. The other one looks crap.

I've had a turbulent week and there's far too much shite to write about and it's all too personal to share with the world anyway. (Yeah, coz my blog isn't just read by 2 or 3 people, if even that many)

In any case, I've found out a lot about myself and about the people around me recently. Some of those discoveries have been pleasant surprises while others... haven't been.

I came up with a new analogy whilst discussing some of my issues with Doris over MSN yesterday. Yes I know, we should've been reading up on ABAP instead. (And Doris, thanks for listening)

But anyway, here's the analogy: I'm like a boy who desperately wants a toy but can't afford to buy it yet. I know if I wait a while and save up for it, I'll get it eventually. And in the meantime, it wouldn't make sense to spend what little cash I have on another toy just for the sake of having something to play with, especially if I've got my heart set on that toy.

This analogy is a lot more complex than my Chicken Chop analogy and is made even more complicated by the fact that someone else already has the toy and I don't even know if this toy I want will give me the joy and satisfaction that I'm expecting.

I've just remembered two things - 1)the term I was thinking of last week when I wanted to talk about an SQL query within another SQL query is nested query and 2)this toy analogy I've come up with is a nested analogy.

This toy that I'm pining for is like a PS2 and the other kid who has the PS2 is using it to play rubbish like Pop Idol and Barbie Riding Club and Army Men, when everyone knows the PS2 should be treated with respect and only quality games like the Gran Turismo series, THPS(1,2,3,4 or Underground) and GTA should be inserted into its hallowed DVD tray.

Now I'm all confused. I should be able to get the PS2 but do I even wanna bother? If I sit down and think about it, the PS2 is old news and I should get an Xbox, or even wait for the next generation of consoles.

Shit...that's a whole other analogy right there.

Avid readers, I apologise if you're unable to follow my post. You'd have to really know me to fully comprehend this nested analogy, and when I think about it, the few people who know me that well probably don't know the difference between the games I mentioned above.

Never thee mind. I think I've thought and talked this out enough to avoid further confusion and emotional turmoil. I need to get some sleep and hope to God that I don't wake up too late in the morning. I've arrived at work at 9 almost every day this week and I'm not proud of that.

There's ABAPing to be done (oooh, blog topic for tomorrow!) and I've yet to complete my cement analysis.

-Does anyone wanna SE16 my Internal Table?-

Operation:Carjack

2004-06-04T02:10:00.000+08:00

Uh oh!

So here's what happened. Azlan and Zeid came over after work yesterday to watch Kill Bill vol 2 at the Starlight Cinema. More on that later. Azlan shows up and tells us he's locked his keys in his car. Bugger.

We went to watch the movie first (we know how to prioritise) and the movie was awesome. Upon our return, we commenced with Operation:Carjack.

DISCLAIMER: All photos were taken during a dramatic reconstruction of the incident. Do not attempt this procedure on cars you do not own. Car theft is a crime.

2004-06-04T02:09:00.000+08:00

Method of entry - external view

Azlan's faced this problem before and knew what had to be done. However, there's a slight difference between knowing what had to be done and doing what had to be done.

It was time to call in reinforcements - me

I felt like Nicholas Cage in Gone in 60 seconds. Except with more hair.

The entry method was ingenius. But I won't divulge too much information here just in case a criminal mastermind is reading this blog. I don't want to be responsible for any stolen cars.

2004-06-04T02:08:00.000+08:00

Method of entry - internal view

This wasn't really how we did it. It's a cheap reconstruction. So all you carthieves out there, figure it out yourself!

2004-06-04T02:07:00.000+08:00

Specialist tools - wire hanger and some rope/string

2004-06-04T02:05:00.001+08:00

Before - window latch closed

2004-06-04T02:05:00.000+08:00

After - window latch opened

2004-06-04T02:04:00.000+08:00

The happy car owner with his liberated car keys

Suffice to say we successfully unlocked the car after a gruelling 45 minutes or so. I say we because it was a group effort. I was the point man and i had two wingmen watching my back and acting as my eyes.

Azlan was a happy camper once again.

2004-06-04T02:03:00.000+08:00

Another satisfied customer

2004-06-04T02:02:00.000+08:00

Impromptu VW owners meeting

Azlan and Zeid, happily displaying the fruit of our labour. It was a happy end to the night for all....

Or was it?

2004-06-04T02:01:00.000+08:00

The aftermath

Alas, it was not meant to be for Azlan and his Beetle. With the keys in his possession once again, we set out in search of some grub. But the car wouldn't start!

We must've caused a disturbance in the Force or something. Or perhaps it had something to do with the wires we pried loose. The same loose wires that were causing sparks to fly. The white plastic hanger was put in place as a safety mechanism to keep the wires away from any metallic objects.

-The Beetle spent the night in my carpark, waiting to be brought back to life-

Chicken chop

2004-06-02T23:05:00.000+08:00

I've come up with a new analogy - something more brilliant than like researching cement (more on that in a while).

I had chicken chop for dinner tonight and I was sorely disappointed. It sucked and that was that. Tash, who bought me dinner (thanks Tash!), had other ideas though. She agreed that it sucked, ate most of her chicken chop then said

It's still tak sedap

Well, yeah, what did she expect? That as she ate more and more of it, it would taste better? Apparently she thought she'd get used to the (crappy)taste and it wouldn't taste as bad.

How misguided.

So...I've come to realise that life is like chicken chop. Most of the time it's pretty good but sometimes it's shite. And it probably won't get any better after a while, no matter how much chewing you do. Maybe you will get used to the (crappy)taste but that's not the point, is it? You shouldn't get used to crap.

The chicken chop tasted crap to begin with. It's not like it had a hair in it - that's just wrong and would've warranted a complaint. If nothing can be done about it, I feel it's better to just chew up the shite things in life (like crap chicken chop), wash it down with some limau ais and shit it out when convenient. The chicken chop might look good and you've waited a long time for it, but there's no point in expecting too much. It'll probably do something evil to your internal organs and you'll wonder why you even bothered waiting for the crap 7 ringgit chicken chop when you can do much, much better.

Nay, when you deserve much better.

Coming back to researching cement, I finally finished my cement research today. Took me bloody long enough. My manager Dominic whom I was helping with the research came over to my desk at about 10:15 this morning and said he wanted to discuss what I'd done thus far at 11. Cue brick shitting.

I did more work in the next 30 minutes than I'd done over the previous 2 days. I guess I work better under pressure, and with clearly defined time constraints.

It's all done now and I begin ABAP training tomorrow. That ought to be interesting. Hopefully more interesting than reading about the various uses of concrete and the contents of Portland Cement (a main ingredient of concrete!)

Oh well. Tomorrow's a new day with fresh opportunities. And Kill Bill. Feck yeah. I still have a ticket to spare. Looking forward to censored torrents of blood and Uma Thurman kicking ass.

I'll post my opinion of Kill Bill vol 2 (Malaysian edition) tomorrow night, or the day after. Depends.

I bet Tash is gonna go back for seconds. Maybe she already has. I'm not gonna drive her to the hospital when her guts explode.

-One thing's for sure though, the fucking chicken chop's messing with my internal organs already-

I'm not sleeping

2004-06-02T00:34:00.000+08:00

Shite

Why'd I bother starting this thing? Now all I wanna do is experiment with HTML. I've changed the template, so if you've visited the blog previously, you'll probably notice the difference.

I was supposed to do some more cement research when I got home but I just could not be bothered. I'll just finish it tomorrow in the office - where you're meant to do work, not at home - where you're meant to not do work.

My brother-in-law gave me tickets to watch Kill Bill vol. 2 at the Starlight Cinema this Thursday. Should I even bother? It's rated 18SG, which probably means it's been censored to buggery.

Bride dodges sword thrust
Bride swings Hatori Hanzo steel
Decapitation and blood geyser imminent
Tra la la la la
(Bad edit job)
Cut to next scene

Yabir, who's been more enthusiastic about Kill Bill than anyone else I know, can't make it on Thursday as he needs to practice for the big dance-off. What a shame. Anyone else interested?

It's a strange coincidence though... on the day I rejoin the KBC blog which I left due to some complications relating to Kill Bill, I get tickets for the screening in Malaysia.

-Life has a strange way of coming full circle-

Pussy galore

2004-06-01T20:56:00.000+08:00

My cat's fucking hilarious. This is her sleeping on my bed. Such a whore. Show her some affection and a comfy bed and she's yours.

More on whores later. It's 9pm and I haven't eaten dinner. I'm hungry but I can't be arsed.

-You give me that funny feeling in my tummy-

Building a better future

2004-06-01T12:11:00.000+08:00

Like researching cement

That's a new saying I've come up with. Analogous to like watching paint dry, only slightly less interesting.

Yeah, I'm bored. But at least I'm contributing to the firm and earning my keep. Bla bla bla.

Before I forget, I spotted this crazy ass van in the car park of Wisma Central yesterday. It had this pasted all over:

Great Eastern Life
Tidak Berperikemanusiaan
Hisap Darah Rayat
Sudah Beli, Tiada Jaminan

Or something like that. And yes, it said Rayat instead of Rakyat.

I'm not giving my support to the uncle....he may be a disgruntled former employee or something. Maybe he's just a wacko. Or maybe he's right. I dunno. One thing's for sure, he had a crazy ass van.

-I hunger-

Wheeeeee!!

2004-05-31T22:51:00.000+08:00

HTML is fucking easy

I don't know why I've never bothered to learn the damn thing. Okay, so this blog will be my experiment in HTML. Yes, I realise I'm years behind everyone else, but I'm a pretty quick learner. At least that's what I said at my job interviews

I have to learn another bloody programming language this week for work. I had a look at some code examples and it seems simple enough. Kinda like SQL.

SELECT this FROM that

Easy peasy lemon squeazy. At least I've finally got stuff to do in the office. It's been a painful 7 weeks or so. I shouldn't complain though. Who else gets paid to just doss around - chatting, emailing and surfing the Interweb all day?

I've been invited back into my old blog...had some issues there but we've put that shit behind us. Unfortunately I fucked up the invite and so now I need to be invited again. It's such a pain in the arse.

In other news, my personal life has fallen to pieces and I've resorted to blogging.

-Shit a brick-

It’s like when you’re shooting a porno

2004-05-31T19:43:00.000+08:00

and you get to the money shot – it’s more fun to just do it yourself than to jack someone else off.

That was some relationship advice I gave to Jingleballs Jon about a year ago. Seems like it was just yesterday.

It's also the inspiration behind the title of this blog. It sounds weak and it'll probably be changed, but for now this is it.

Time to hit the gym. Must work on my biceps, ja?

-Time sure flies when you throw it out the window-